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[Aug. 18th, 2005|08:22 pm] |
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I went vegetarian again. I cant help it...Its just hard for me to eat meat and I feel like it is my tiny contribution to better this world...by refraining from eating animal products. This all started the other day when I was hanging out with my friend Nikkole, she is very sweet and loves animals...and is a vegetarian...and i was like...yeah i used to be. And then I found no good reason why i have the right to eat meat and its over bitch....lol...no more meat!!!!! So thats whats going on with heidi....<3 |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 28th, 2005|04:54 pm] |
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So Nicole was at my house and she called her mom to check in and her mom was like get your ass home and turn in your car keys....and shes in trouble and her mom wouldnt tell her for what. and that sucks so bad because shes my pal....and now shes in big trouble. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 25th, 2005|05:51 pm] |
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the thing about this live journal is that i never have anything to say. lol. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 24th, 2005|05:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Mike Jones | ] |
so im at my dads house....will probably be going home in the next hour...im tired....so today i found out courteney isnt coming home....not until november 26th.....im not sure why. courteney...i tried to call you but the guy answered and said you werent home. call me on my cellular tellular....i miss you....life is good....Courtney H got her liscence so now we don t just sit around...cool cool.. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 22nd, 2005|03:47 pm] |
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i got my report card....4 a's 2 b's....gotta work on tjose b's man! i miss my courteney |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 14th, 2005|04:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | APC - Imagine | ] |
Part Romantic Kisser |
For you, kissing is all about feeling the romance
You love to kiss under the stars or by the sea
The perfect kiss involves the perfect mood
It's pretty common for kisses to sweep you off your feet | Part Passionate Kisser |
For you, kissing is about all about following your urges
If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story
You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses
A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 14th, 2005|04:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | creative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | passive - a.p.c | ] |
The Keys to Your Heart
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You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. |
In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. |
You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. |
You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance. |
Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love. |
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. |
You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. |
In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 11th, 2005|03:25 pm] |
say hello to all the apples on the ground
they were once in your eyes
but you sneezed them out while sleeping
say hello to everything you've left behind
It's even more a part of your life now
that you can't touch it
a.p.c
Everything is so perfect yet at the same time....things are ruined. I am my own enemy at times like these. I feel like I cant get my head above water...I feel like Im just going to drown here in my own misery. This is the misery that doesnt even want company....sad dark alone....and its perfectly ok with me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 7th, 2005|10:03 pm] |
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travis is an asshole....fuck him. he makes me feel like im 4. i hate that. how could someone have that much control. wtf? im a little bitch |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 7th, 2005|03:27 pm] |
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im making dinner for travis tonite...the funny thing is...i dont want to....i dont even want to see him. i dont know why. i just dont care right now ya know? normally i would be giddy and thrilled and be like oh yay yay yay travis travis travis but right now its like....i've got bigger fish to fry. today is an odd day ya know? just an odd odd day. i dont know what the hell i want anymore. i dont know who i am. i did coke last nite courteney. please dont hate me for being a hypocrit....it was just there. and i wanted to, i loved it. i want more. i want that. thats what i want...you are right im just a fucking drug addict. |
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| Another turning point...A fork stuck in the road... |
[Jul. 6th, 2005|03:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
Well my day just got alot better. Courtney and Amber came over and we went to Wendy's, got some lunch and such. Then we called up Jason and he's hot so its a plus to see him (total eye candy!) and so we went to the pool to see him and his friends, then drove around....went over the Turkey Farms bump...we just hung out and did immature bullshit. It was nice to have a break from the real world. And at lunch, the three of us established that this is the best summer ever, drug free and so funn...I had fun with them...Amber is nice I had no reason to dislike her. Im glad Im over that. Travis is coming over tonite. Yikes! What do I wear? What if he hates me? lol. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 6th, 2005|01:34 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | numb | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Hawethorne Heights - Ohio is for lovers | ] |
Go ahead and hate me...make your reason well...I never loved you anyways....it was just a big mistake....I dont care....Never did never will....Fuck you and all of your super powers. I'll go ahead and hate you....I'll make my reason well...You never loved me anyways...It was just a big mistake...You dont care....Never did never will.
I cant make it on my own, because my heart is in UTAH!
Sad day....better tommorow? All hopes high. |
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| I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger |
[Jul. 5th, 2005|10:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ludacris - Sugar | ] |
My brother and Joe C and a bunch of other people are partying and Matt's house. They really dont know what is good for them huh? So many of them could be something...like my brother...very intelligent young man....much potential....zero of it applied. Makes me sooooo mad! Then there is Joe C, and he's one of the best guys I know...and he throws it all away. Sometimes I wish I was still a coke head...Sometimes I just want my old party life back...but I know better. I know not to throw my own potential away. I just miss having friends and a life and being skinnier (i gained 20 pounds dince i stopped it)...Well Im sorry this was kind of sob, negative....I just needed to get it out. Off to bed...pretend I am asleep. <3
Courtney: You are my sunshine...my only sunshine....you make me happy...when skies are grey....you'll never know dear, how much i love you....please dont take my sunshine away.
I miss you and anxiously await your return...21 days...<3 |
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| Fun Day |
[Jul. 5th, 2005|08:20 pm] |
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Today I took off of school and hung out with Brittany. I loved it. I missed her very much. We went to downtown orlando and ate at Gino's Pizza and it was fun. |
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| Since you've been gone I can do whatever I want |
[Jul. 4th, 2005|12:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | optimistic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | OASIS- stop crying your heart out | ] |
Much has happened...little will be updated.
Well Thursday was my birthday. It was good...saw my family, hung out with Heinzen and went shopping at the mall. But then Heinzen left because she was "tired" and that sucks...being all alone on your 16th birthday. Then I tried numerous times to call my best friend, who lives in Utah, and I couldnt get a hold of her. So then I went to dinner at Olive Garden with my wondeful mother and Travis, this guy who I definately adore...but I think he doesnt like me at all...friend or more. And at dinner I wasnt my normal chipper self, I had much to think about. Joe C had invited me to hang out later that nite...I didnt go. I really love Joe C, he has a good heart. I wish he would get things straight in his life.
Friday Travis got fired...I really felt for him because I know that feeling. He will be okay...he's intelligent.
Saturday morning I was riding the motorcycles with my mom and her friends and I saw a rainbow. It was AMAZING. I havent seen a rainbow since i was a little kid. I got this great feeling of serenity and I felt as if no matter what...It was all okay. Although I am worried about several things, I have that feeling still.
Sunday I tanned for a while and then went to dinner with the group. Stupid Robert made my mom cry...and I was very angry. I held my tongue and just ignored his existance until he got mad at me for ignoring him and started yelling and said I needed to grow up and told my mom to deal with me and I told him he had no right to say anything and that he treated her like a small child and he has no right. He said he wasnt going to deal with it and I said fine then, I will leave. I got up and left. But then my mom asked me to come back and we talked and I agreed. I would do anything for her...but I dont agree with this relationship....hes such a jerk to her...who does he think he is?
Today I layed out and tanned...It felt nice. I made Trevor lay out with me...hehe. And I must now go clean up my room, bathroom, etc. Fun Fun!
OH AND TONY STEWART WON THE RACE!!THATS MY BOY!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 27th, 2005|06:08 pm] |
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nothing as usual....bored tired sick and mad at the world...smilels as usual. fuck this man. whats going on? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 15th, 2005|01:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  curious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Britney - My Perogative | ] |
Woah I just woke up. Thats like the latest I have ever slept in my life...drug binges dont count...but yeah. I went to a party last nite and it was pretty fun....i ended up getting to be better friends with Joe C which is cool because Ive wanted to do get to know him better for a while. We talked for like 45 minutes in front of the hotel room and then for like an hour and a half up on some stairwell in the hotel. It was cool. I learned alot about him and his views on things and what hes really thinking all the time. Im really trying to help him and Courtney get together. She likes him alot....He likes her just as much...they need to go out. It would be passing up the opportunity of a lifetime if they dont because they really are just perfect for eachother. He said alot of sweetheart things that I wish she could have heard. He'll be good to her. I know shes with Bronson but the way I put it to her is " Go for the gold and nothing less....If you arent 100% happy as you could be...then make it happen" I hope she listens to me. But yeah so last nite I stayed at the hotel and I went to sleep at like 5:30 and I woke up one time at like 6 and Joe C was snoring soooo loud and then his feet were on me and then Trevors feet were on my back and they were totally hogging the covers. They are like....a good team at making people stay awake lol. peace. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 13th, 2005|04:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bitchy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Future Leaders of the World | ] |
I just read that the jury found michael jackson guilty of molesting the 13 year old boy...good. Nobody should be able to get away with that...especially because he got away with it once. I hope he rots in prison forever. Yeah so Im a lil pms ish lol. |
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| Once again I emerge from the darkness |
[Jun. 12th, 2005|09:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | awake | ] |
| [ | music |
| | breaking benjamin - so cold | ] |
I havent updated in a while...Alot has been going on. Changes and new people new friends new ideas new fun new fun new loves and new life. But also all the same. Very hard to explain. Im being kicked off the computer my mom wants to catch some Z's. I understand the feeling. Update in a more detailed manor tommorow. Peace and <3 |
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its_so_lovely's journal
